Freaking Out the Neighborhood



 

I looked so much better over the summer :( I may go blonde again

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disquietinglullabies:

Crying to Bright Eyes songs.

same

oh no not another rape poem

Recently I’ve been spending hours trying to hide, remaining hidden from pleasant streets where we first met. Goodbye innocence, now I know how the world works. Pin me to the ground and slide your fingers across my thighs, when I repeat, “no”, remember that I am wrong. Pull on my hair and bite my neck, call me your baby so everyone knows I belong to you. When I find an escape you change my mind and we begin again, I’m just so weak. That’s why it’s called heavy love. My mind can’t process trauma, I love you honey! Please take my money, take my time, take my love. Tell me I’m worthless and I’ll love you more. Throw me out like the piece of trash that I am, I’m free except you have left traces behind. I see your face in others so I shake and I hide and become sexist because I am terrified of someone owning me again. I love attention, I really do. I made everything up because you dumped me. I deserved it because I stayed with you. It didn’t happen because I didn’t report it. I’m glad others can benefit from our relationship by proving their intelligence, doing so by stating my ignorance. I have a reoccurring dream where I’m a human being and you are a human being and we are two human beings who treat each other like human beings. I have dirty ink beneath layers of my skin to make me feel less lonely, I play tracks on repeat to remind me that things will be OK. 

I’ll sail away and your name will never reach my lips again, where the water is blue and pure and the sun hitting my back doesn’t burn me.