hate myself n wanna die


joey was here :~)

Paloma/17/NY


writtenanddirected:

a new ask meme: go to my ask and paste the last thing you copied and send it to me without any explanation

(Source: affleck)

(Source: st8side)

Yesterday w. Homeboy

woke up still drunk 

gonna puke n go to work 

good shit. 

<3 

<3 

(Source: whatismgmt)

dogfoodofficial:

Oh hey this has 700 notes already (-:

looooove the lighting, makes him look like a dream *____* 

dogfoodofficial:

Oh hey this has 700 notes already (-:

looooove the lighting, makes him look like a dream *____* 

(Source: korra)

awwww

awwww

(Source: toopunktofuck)

(Source: seinfeld-daily)

disquietinglullabies:

What do I have to do to get prescribed xanax

(Source: nirvananews)

me

(Source: cactuseeds)

I was in the passenger seat of his car and he told me I was the top of all, “his girls”. He then dropped two black bags by my feet and put his key into ignition. He told me to twist the cap off one of the bottles then took a swig, hiding the label to the bottle with one of the black bags. 

His personality was not foreign to me- all addicts are similar. Addictive personalities. They don’t differ too much. They’re late to everything. They’re greedy. They lack morals. They put themselves before anyone. All they talk about is their addictions and how much they hate themselves and how badly their ex broke their heart. Sometimes I think I am addicted to addictive personalities seeing as I’ve only been seeing addicts for the past two years. Nothing changes really, just a new face.

Initially they try to act as sober as they can pull off. They open up a little bit, we share drugs. We kiss. Things go further. This will last at the most a month. Then there’s the downfall. They try to hurt themselves, they run out of cash, they begin to talk about their ex. If the addict is at their peak they will nearly overdose, then deny it. Then get mad when you cry.

After a while they will realize you are just a person and they understand they can’t expect a person to get rid of their problems. They realize you care, a lot. They don’t like that. They realize they can use you, easy. Shit. I am too easy. They’ll get back with their ex or try again with another girl. Each time I know what I am getting myself into, I didn’t expect Alex to be different.

He worked at a deli by my house. I would visit him at work, he always bought me beer. He would buy me a fresh pack of cigarettes then give me some from his. I hate chivalry but it’s unavoidable around a “nice guy”. He’s an alcoholic who is still in love with two of his ex’s. 

I was at a party and he brought her. I drank until I could barely walk. I threw up all over his sweater. The two of them fucked in the room across the hall from where I passed out.

I do that a bunch.

I’ll get super drunk because I’ll feel sorry for myself then I’ll wake up in a strange position and start drinking again. Or I’ll smoke. Or I’ll sniff or swallow or inject until I can’t feel anything anymore. 

(not done) 

secretraptor replied to your post: I want to get healthier and walk more …

sorry, you DO know how hot everyone thinks you are, right?

lol!!! thank you, but it’s self perception. doing it for myself